Please forgive the terrible pun, but it’s early here and it’s the only thing I could think of.

Anyway you would have to be living in a hole in the ground to not have noticed that Real Madrid have signed both Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo at a combined fee of around £140million ($190million).

There’s an article on the official Real website that states, with masterful understatement, that president Florentino Perez “thinks big”.

Too big. In my opinion. The idea is that the increase in shirt and merchandise sales will effectively recoup the transfer fees, but as you would need to sell literally millions of extra shirts to people who aren’t even Real fans, that just isn’t going to happen.

Perez is mortgaging the future of his club in the hope of getting a quick fix of success, but there’s no guarantee that even with Kaka and Ronaldo in place, this will happen.

Barcelona aren’t going to step quietly aside and allow Real to win La Liga. Similarly, just by having those two players in the squad, doesn’t automatically mean Champions League success.

This is all going to go pear shaped very quickly.

You can of course delay the inevitable by buying the latest Real Madrid shirt here, but it is inevitable. The financial implications of these transfers mean that Real is a time bomb waiting to go off.

Those lovely people at the nearly but not quite out of business Setanta broadcasting are promising absolutely no cliches in their coverage of England vs Kazakhstan this afternoon.

A poll of Sentanta viewers revealed this this were the top ten worst cliches :

1. “At the end of the day” (18%)
2. “On paper…” (16%)
3. “A game of two halves” (14%)
4. “This game needs a goal” (12%)
5. “There are no easy games in international football” (10%)
6. “For a big lad, he’s good with his feet” (9%)
7. “A funny old game” (8%)
8. “This free-kick is in Beckham-range” (7%)
9. “Setting out their stall” (4%)
10. “End-to-end stuff” (2%)

So Sentanta’s commentators have vowed not to use them. However, given that one of those commentators is Chris Waddle, I give it 10 minutes at most.

It would be nice, thoug.

Here are a few Manchester City Football questions for you to wrack your brains over. I will post the answers in a few days’ time.

1.      In what year were Manchester City established?

2.      For the first seven years (since establishment) Manchester City
weren’t known as Manchester City. What were they known as?

3.      What is Manchester City’s Nickname ?

4.      What were the names of the two Brightwell brothers that have
previously played for Man City?

5.      Where do Manchester City play their home games? City of Manchester Stadium

6.      Who is the current manager of Mancherster City ?

7.      Which Asian politician sold Man City to Abu Dhabi United Group in
2008 ?

8.      Which club did Manchester City sign Elano from ?

9.      Which Manchester City player is the current captain of the England
Under-21 team?

10.     Which former City player and manager is manager of England Under
21 side?

11.     Which travel company currently sponsors Manchester City?

12.     What was City’s home ground before the moved to the City of
Manchester Stadium in 2002 ?

13.     Which controversial former City player who was jailed a couple of
times for violent conduct and assault currently plays for Newcastle?

14.     What is common to Andy Cole, Peter Schemichel and  Dennis Law ?

15.     Which player did Manchester City sign in 2008 for a British record
transfer fee of 32.5 million pounds?

16.     Which team did Manchester City beat in 1970 to win the European
Cup final ?

17.      Why is the jersey number 23 retired by Manchester City ?

18.     Through what special criteria did Manchester City qualify for the
UEFA cup for the 2008-09 season ?

19.     The current owner of Sunderland is a Manchester City legend,
having played 203 games and scoring 90 goals for the Citizens. He was
also inducted into the Manchester City Hall of Fame. Who ?

20.     Whom do Manchester City play in their local derby ?

Former Brazil international Mario Jardel has joined has joined Ferroviário Atlético Clube in the second division of the Brazilian league. Jardel also earned his first junior contract with Ferroviário Atlético Clube although he did not play a single game for them back in 1989-90.

Jardel has earned 7 caps for Brazil from 1996-2001 scoring just once. His most memorable days in Europe were with FC Porto. He scored a phenomenal 130 goals in 125 appearances for them.

Veteran Italian defender Christian Panucci is set to quit AS Roma after being benched for Roma’s latest game. AS Roma defeated Napoli 3-0 but Panucci was not involved and not at all impressed by the team selection.

“I have made my decision, I am leaving Roma. I don’t feel respected anymore. It’s a pity because I have spent 8 great seasons here in Rome. At present, I am not in contact with other clubs yet”.

In an interview with a local Italian daily, Palermo’s owner and chairman Maurizio Zamparini said that he only had a 30% chance to sign Brazilian forward Nilmar. Nilmar has been targeted by many top European clubs and it will be a real coup if Palermo can sign him under the noses of many European giants.

Juventus’ sporting director Alessio Secco has rubbished rumours that Juventus are after Chelsea’s left winger Florent Malouda.

“We are absolutely not interested in Malouda and we won’t sign anybody in this transfer window. It’s well known that we are seeking a new winger and we have a list of names for the summer, but the Frenchman is not an option”.

Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho wants to reduce his squad size at Inter Milan. But none of the players are close to a move. Dacourt’s move to Bologna has stalled while Crespo isn’t too interested in Espanyol’s offer. Jose is set to meet Massimo Moratti to resolve this issue.